The Big Luder Jokes & Quotes

PLEAS, BE CAREFUL WITH YOUR WISHES....thi shouls make your day 40 YEARS OF MARRIAGE...... A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant. Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table. She said, 'For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.' The wife answered, 'Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband'. The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands. The husband thought for a moment: 'Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me'. The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish. So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!...the husband became 92 years old. The moral of this s

Four fathers Four expectant fathers were in a Minneapolis hospital waiting room while their wives were in labor. The nurse arrived and proudly announced to the first man, "Congratulations, sir. You're the father of twins!" "What a coincidence! I work for the Minnesota Twins Baseball team!" Later the nurse returned and congratulated the second father on the birth of his triplets. "Wow! That's incredible! I work for the 3M Corporation." An hour later, the nurse returned to congratulate the third man on the birth of his quadruplets. Stunned, he barely could reply, "I don't believe it! I work for the Four Seasons Hotel!" After this, everyone turned to the fourth guy who had just fainted. The nurse rushed to his side. As he slowly gained consciousness, they could hear him mutter over and over, "I should never have taken that job at 7-Eleven. I should never have taken that job at 7-Eleven. I should never have taken that j

An Arabic family was considering putting their grandfather Abdullah in a nursing home. All the Arabic facilities were completely full so they had to put him in an Australian home. After a few weeks in the Australian facility, they came to visit Grandpa. ''How do you like it here?'' asks the grandson. ''It's wonderful! Everyone here is so courteous and respectful'', says grandpa. ''We're so happy for you. We were worried that this was the wrong place for you. You know, since you are a little different from everyone.'' ''Oh, no! Let me tell you about how wonderfully they treat the residents'', Abdullah says with a big smile. ''There's a musician here-- he's 85 years old. He hasn't played the violin in 20 years and everyone still calls him 'Maestro'! There is a judge in here -- he's 95 years old. He hasn't been on the bench in 30 years and everyone still calls

Just try reading this without laughing till you cry!!! Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this: Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse- sized tazer. The effects of the tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....?? WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I load

Breathing Therapy The nose has a left and a right side; we use both to inhale and exhale. Actually they ar e different; you would be able to feel the difference. The right side represents the sun, left side represents the moon. During a headache, try to close your right nose and use your left nose to breathe. In about 5 mins, your headache will be gone? If you feel tired, just reverse, close your left nose and breathe through your right nose. After a while, you will feel your mind is refreshed. Right side belongs to 'hot', so it gets heated up easily, left side belongs to 'cold'. Most females breathe with their left noses, so they get "cooled off" faster. Most of the guys breathe with their right noses, they get worked up. Do you notice the moment we wake up, which side breathes faster? Left or right? ? If left is faster, you will feel tired. So, close your left nose and use your right nose for breathing, you will get refreshed quickly. This can be taught to