The Big Luder Jokes & Quotes

> One evening a Husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife, > 'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in 'Slim Fast'. Maybe it > would take a few inches off of your butt!' > > His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such > a comment go unrewarded. > > The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his > drawer. 'What the Hell is this?' he said to himself as a little 'dust' > cloud appeared when he shook them out. > > 'April', he hollered into the bathroom, 'Why did you put Talcum Powder > in my underwear?' > > She replied with a snicker. 'It's not talcum powder; it's 'Miracle > Grow'!!!!!!

A Primary Teacher explains to her class that she is a MAN UTD fan. > > She asks her students to raise their hands if they too are MAN UTD > fans. > > Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl. > > The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says, 'Mary, why > didn't you raise your hand?' > > 'Because I'm not a Man UTD fan,' she replied. > > The teacher, still shocked, asked, 'Well, if you are not a Man UTD > fan, then who are you a fan of?' > > 'I am a Liverpool fan, and proud of it,' Mary replied. > > The teacher could not believe her ears. 'Mary, why, pray tell, are > you a Liverpool fan?' > > 'Because my mum is a Liverpool fan, and my dad is a Liverpool fan, > so I'm a Liverpool fan too!' > > 'Well,' said the teacher in an obviously annoyed tone, 'that is no > reason for you to be a Liverpool fan. You don't have

Testicle Therapy Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize. 'Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me, she told him. 'Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes,' the man replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the foetal position, still clasping his hands there at his groin. At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside. She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked, 'How does that feel'? He replied: It