The Big Luder Jokes & Quotes

Four fathers Four expectant fathers were in a Minneapolis hospital waiting room while their wives were in labor. The nurse arrived and proudly announced to the first man, "Congratulations, sir. You're the father of twins!" "What a coincidence! I work for the Minnesota Twins Baseball team!" Later the nurse returned and congratulated the second father on the birth of his triplets. "Wow! That's incredible! I work for the 3M Corporation." An hour later, the nurse returned to congratulate the third man on the birth of his quadruplets. Stunned, he barely could reply, "I don't believe it! I work for the Four Seasons Hotel!" After this, everyone turned to the fourth guy who had just fainted. The nurse rushed to his side. As he slowly gained consciousness, they could hear him mutter over and over, "I should never have taken that job at 7-Eleven. I should never have taken that job at 7-Eleven. I should never have taken that j

An Arabic family was considering putting their grandfather Abdullah in a nursing home. All the Arabic facilities were completely full so they had to put him in an Australian home. After a few weeks in the Australian facility, they came to visit Grandpa. ''How do you like it here?'' asks the grandson. ''It's wonderful! Everyone here is so courteous and respectful'', says grandpa. ''We're so happy for you. We were worried that this was the wrong place for you. You know, since you are a little different from everyone.'' ''Oh, no! Let me tell you about how wonderfully they treat the residents'', Abdullah says with a big smile. ''There's a musician here-- he's 85 years old. He hasn't played the violin in 20 years and everyone still calls him 'Maestro'! There is a judge in here -- he's 95 years old. He hasn't been on the bench in 30 years and everyone still calls

Just try reading this without laughing till you cry!!! Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this: Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse- sized tazer. The effects of the tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....?? WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I load

Breathing Therapy The nose has a left and a right side; we use both to inhale and exhale. Actually they ar e different; you would be able to feel the difference. The right side represents the sun, left side represents the moon. During a headache, try to close your right nose and use your left nose to breathe. In about 5 mins, your headache will be gone? If you feel tired, just reverse, close your left nose and breathe through your right nose. After a while, you will feel your mind is refreshed. Right side belongs to 'hot', so it gets heated up easily, left side belongs to 'cold'. Most females breathe with their left noses, so they get "cooled off" faster. Most of the guys breathe with their right noses, they get worked up. Do you notice the moment we wake up, which side breathes faster? Left or right? ? If left is faster, you will feel tired. So, close your left nose and use your right nose for breathing, you will get refreshed quickly. This can be taught to

I've got a new set of wiper blades for my car (a Peugeot, made in France ).. I think they might be a bit too big because they hang over the edges a little, but I don't care, they work great and I would have to say that they are the only blades I have ever had that don't irritate me when they're working. Call me crazy, but lately I have been driving around with them on even when it's not raining!!!. The other day I was even pulled over by a cop who asked to go for a ride so he could watch them work. They were outrageously expensive (being French), but to my mind you can't pay too much for safety and like I said, they work great. Let me know if you would like a pair for your car and I'll give you the contact website. To see them scrolldown...... . . . I'm sure you'll approve of the impressive design and functionality but like me you'll probably have some reservations about the washer option !!!

I used to be like this?   I met a girl?   She was like this... Together, we were like this ? ? I gave her gifts like this? When she accepted my proposal, I was like this? I used to talk to her all night like this And at office used  to do this... When my friends saw  my girl friend, they  stared like this? And I used to react like this? BUT on Valentine Day, she gave red roses to someone else like this? AND, I was like this? Which later led to this. I felt like doing this… But rather did this . . . I started doing this And this And I ended up like this…