Old Phrase: No fucking way.




The management does however realize the importance of each person being able to express their feelings when communicating with their fellow workers. Therefore, management has compiled the following coded list. It is imperative that all employees understand and memorize the coded phrase so the proper exchange of ideas and information can continue:

New Phrase: I'm not certain that's feasible.
Old Phrase: No fucking way.
~~
New Phrase: Really?
Old Phrase: You've got to be shitting me.
~~
New Phrase: Perhaps you should check with...[Insert name here]
Old Phrase: Tell someone who gives a rat's ass.
~~
New Phrase: Of course I'm concerned.
Old Phrase: Ask me if I give a shit.
~~
New Phrase: I was not involved with that project.
Old Phrase: It's not my fucking problem.
~~
New Phrase: Interesting behavior...
Old Phrase: What the fuck?
~~
New Phrase: Perhaps I can work late.
Old Phrase: When the fuck do they expect me to do this?
~~
New Phrase: He's not familiar with this problem.
Old Phrase: He's got his head up his ass.
~~
New Phrase: You don't say.
Old Phrase: Eat shit.
~~
New Phrase: Excuse me?
Old Phrase: Eat shit and die.
~~
New Phrase: Excuse me, sir?
Old Phrase: Eat shit and die, motherfucker.
~~
New Phrase: They weren't happy with it?
Old Phrase: What the fuck do they want from me?
~~
New Phrase: So you would like some help?
Old Phrase: Kiss my ass.
~~
New Phrase: I love a challenge.
Old Phrase: This job sucks.
~~
New Phrase: You want me to take care of this?
Old Phrase: Who died and left you boss?
~~
New Phrase: I see.
Old Phrase: Blow me.

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