Several men at a pub

Several men at a pub decided to have a contest to prove who could come up with the best toast. They each put up a sizable amount for a prize to the winner. Each man stepped up and did his toast; one better than the one before him. Finally it was John O'Reilly's turn.

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said,

"Here's to spending the rest of me life, right between the legs of me lovely wife!"

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of the night" She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"

John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."

"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."

She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."