Bazza

Bazza was moderately successful in his workplace, and reasonably attractive to the ladies, but as he got older he was increasingly hampered by incredible headaches.
Then his personal hygiene and love life started to suffer, and he sought medical help.

After the usual run around of being referred from one specialist to another, he eventually came across a doctor who diagnosed the problem.
"The good news is I can cure your headaches, the bad news is that it will require castration.
You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press up against the base of your spine.
The pressure creates one hell of a headache and the increasing withdrawal from all activities.
The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."

Bazza was shocked and depressed, but decided he had no choice but to go under the knife.
After the operation, his mind was clear, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself.
He walked down the street, and realized that he felt like a different person.
He would have to make a new beginning and live a new life.

As we wandered, he found himself gazing into the show window of a fancy clothing store.
"That's what I need, a totally new look."
He wandered in and told the suavely dressed salesman, "I'd like a new suit."
The salesman eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see, size 44 long?"
Bazza laughed, "That's right, how did you know?".
"It's my job." replied the salesman.
Bazza tried on the suit, and it fitted and looked perfect.

As Bazz admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "And how about a new shirt?"
Bazza thought for a moment, not sure of himself in this setting, but then replied, "Sure!".
The salesman eyed Bazza closely, then said, "Let's see, 34 sleeve and 16 and a half neck.".
Bazza was more than surprised, "That's right, how did you know?".
"It's my job." came the familiar reply.
Bazza tried on the shirt, and it fitted perfectly.

The salesman asked, "Would sir like to try some shoes?".
Bazza was on a roll and agreed.
The salesman eyed Bazza's feet and said, "Let's see, nine-and-a-half?"
Bazza was astonished, "That's right, how did you know?".
"It's my job." said the salesman again.
Bazza tried on the shoes and they fitted perfectly.
They looked fabulous with the rest of the outfit. He walked comfortably around the shop as the salesman, Obviously impressed with his suggestions so far looked on.

"Now, how about some new underwear?"
Bazza thought for a second and said, "Sure, why not."

The salesman stepped back, looked carefully and said, "Let's see, size 36."
Bazza laughed smugly, "No, I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old."

The shocked salesman shook his head, "You can't possibly wear a size 34!
No No No!!! It would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache!"