A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men. The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
1. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want. 2. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. 3. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. 4. To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot & love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot & not try to understand her at all. 5. Married men live longer than single men - but married men are a lot more willing to die. 6. Any married man should forget his mistakes - there's no use in two people remembering the same thing. 7. Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. 8. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change & she does. 9. A woman has the ...
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die." "Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant, and make sure he is in a good mood. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don't burden him with chores, as he probably had a hard day. Don't discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress worse. And most importantly, make love with your husband several times a week and satisfy his every whim. If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely." On the way home, the husband asked his wife. "What did the doctor say?" "He said you're going to die," she replied
Little Johnny was starting his first day at a new school and his father called the teacher to tell her that little Johnny was a big gambler. She said that it was no problem and she has seen worse than that. After Little Johnny’s first day at his new school his father called the teacher to see how it went. She said, “I think I broke his gambling”. The father asked how and she said, “He bet me $5.00 that I had a mole on my butt, so I pulled down my pants and won his money.” “DAMN!” said the father. “What’s wrong?”, the teacher asked. Little Johnny’s father said, “This morning he bet me $100.00 he would see his teacher’s butt before the day was over!”
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