“Everyone Knows Bob”

Once, there was a man named Bob, who claimed he knew everyone. he always bragged to his boss and other co-workers about how many people he knew. He often explained, "I bet I know everyone of importance in the whole world!"

One day, his boss, Jack, was so fed up with him, being a little sarcastic, replied, "Tom Cruise; I bet you don't know him!" Bob said he did. In fact, we could go see him now. I know everyone in the airport, and most of them owe me favors. So that afternoon, they hopped on a plane to Hollywood. Once they got there, they went straight to Tom's house. They rang the doorbell, and Tom answered it and said, "Hey Bob, come on in, I was just about to have some lunch. You and your friend are welcome to join me".

After they left Tom's house, Bob's boss looked at him and said, "Okay, so I just happened to name the one celebrity you know." Bob replied, "Then name someone else if you don't believe me." His boss said, "The President; I bet you don't know the President."

For a moment Bob was speechless. Then, suddenly, he declared, "Oh, yes, him. Me and George Bush, we go way back. In fact, we could go see him now. Before long, they were standing outside of the white house. Bob rang the bell. A secret service agent came to the door. "Hey, what do you know, it's Bob! I suppose you are here to see the president?" With that, they went inside. Bob and Jack sat down and had lunch, while explaining the situation to the president. Once they were done, Bob said, "It's getting late. I think Jack needs to be at a meeting. Tell everyone I said hi." And just like that, they left.

"OK, so you know the president," Jack reasoned, "Who doesn't? I am sure you don't know the Queen of England!" "Oh, I know her! We could go right now, but you have a meeting." "I can blow that one off," Jack stated, "Let's go!" When they arrived, the Queen answered, and invited them in for tea. Bob told her about speaking to the president, and how he was doing these days, and Jack got some of his questions about England answered. When it was all over, Jack and Bob emerged, Jack with an almost evil grin on his face.

He was having a great time, so he decided to keep Bob going. "You don't know the Pope." "What, you mean good ol' Benedict? I was there with him praying for him to be chosen!" Bob answered, " Obviously, you don't have anywhere to be, so let's go." When they got to the Vatican, Bob realized, since there were tons of people standing outside, waiting for the pope to emerge on his balcony, the pope would never see him. "Give me 15 minutes, and I'll be standing up there with the pope on his balcony. I know all of the guards, so it'll be easy. Sure enough, a few minutes later, the pope was up there with Bob, shaking his hand and smiling.

When Bob came back down, he saw his boss, Jack, lying on a stretcher with an oxygen mask on, Medics hovering over him. "Jack! Are you okay? what happened?" Bob said, worrying.

Jack pulled the oxygen mask away from his face and said, "I had a heart attack. I was fine when I saw you up there, and figured you had won. But then, when you started coming down, I heard someone asking, "Who was that just up there on the balcony, shaking the hand of Bob?"